Lukas experienced the early days of the Center for Perceptual Disorders. At that time, there was no integrated school. He only received regular therapy at the center until he started school at the special needs school in Weinfelden. During these years, Lukas, who was very introspective, let everything happen to him, such as hour-long hikes with the whole family. Since Lukas had been a poor sleeper since birth, requiring us to get up several times a night, we moved to the Glarus region and he began attending a weekly boarding school at age 10. This gave us more space to care for our other children.
A change of caregiver and the attempt to support his rapidly growing, weak back with a plaster corset triggered phases of anxiety, during which Lukas complained for weeks on end and couldn't sleep despite sleeping medication. There was no more happy laughter to be heard! Despite sleepless nights, work and family life demanded our full commitment. Looking back, we are amazed at how patiently the healthy siblings put up with and accompanied Lukas. What a celebration it was when Lukas laughed again for the first time after overcoming the crisis. He became increasingly anxious when he moved between the residential home and home. As a result, Lukas sometimes refused to get into the car for hours on end. No tricks helped! Summer vacations in the Engadin fell into this phase. Every trip by car became a family ordeal! Would Lukas finally get in the car or would he rather walk an hour to the next village? For the healthy siblings, this meant waiting, waiting! Separate programs eased the situation. Lukas never got on a cable car again, even though he really wanted to. Years later, I managed to gently guide Lukas into a gondola with intensive physical contact from the back. The fear was huge, but the pride after the successful ride was even greater! His proud laughter accompanied us throughout the day.
Constant overstimulation and understimulation between the ages of 16 and 20 increased aggression. Hitting, pinching until bleeding, raging, and having tantrums, smashing glass doors and windows made life difficult for us. He would calm down for short periods during hour-long walks, sometimes in guided situations, or while singing songs. During the walks, he would rip his clothes off in his anger. During a Saturday afternoon visit to an indoor pool with all the children, Lukas slapped a mother soundly. The result was an almost empty pool for our family. We would have preferred to hide in a mouse hole!
Despite annual counseling at the Center for Perceptual Disorders, his development stagnated and threatened to suffocate completely in increasingly severe bouts of anxiety and aggression. During a short stay, Lukas snapped so badly that he was sedated with medication. Supposedly able to walk again, he returned home. Immersed in uncanny fears, he would not let anyone get close to him. He complained and flapped his hands for days and nights. He would get us out of bed every quarter of an hour until he was exhausted. After stopping all medication, we gradually managed to bring him out of his unbearable anxiety in eight weeks with lots of attention, singing and hours of walks (Lukas couldn't stand being indoors in his anxiety!). The situation in the home and at home became untenable. Only our change of work and residence to St. Gallen made it possible for him to join the Tandem adult group. This saved Lukas from a psychiatric clinic, where his personality would probably have been permanently extinguished. For his siblings, all of secondary school age and in apprenticeships, the change of residence was a hard blow. Some of them rebelled strongly at first. Looking back today, they all agree that the move to St. Gallen also had a positive effect on them.
Despite Lukas' very careful preparation for the move and taster week in tandem, it triggered another severe anxiety phase for him. For weeks, we walked around the house and the neighborhood day and night. He just cried and fluttered! Will Lukas be manageable in tandem?
We made Lukas feel: „We notice you're not doing well, we're here for you. This will pass.“.
A stable framework through
careful coordination of care at home and in the residential group. This gives him security and has reduced his anxiety.
Intensive leadership therapy in solving everyday problems helps him to perceive and understand his environment better. Moments of success often make him truly happy and strongly promote his language comprehension.
Training his own body language helps him to make himself understood better. For example, he starts waving when I chat with the neighbor for too long during our walks, or he leads Dad to the refrigerator and points out the Mettwurst. In the morning, he puts the plug in the bathtub, lets water run in, gets me out of bed, leads me to the bathroom, and nods his head intensely!
The small family group is the ideal setting for all of this.
Despite his ongoing dependence, Lukas has found a cheerful and happy personality. He is still learning and absorbing new things, but he urgently needs this professionally competent and protected framework. He can once again be happy and laugh from the bottom of his heart. Instead of freaking out when tension rises, he learns to take someone by the hand and show them what he wants. He is beginning to seek his own solutions to problems.
Meanwhile, all the children are grown up and have flown the nest. When they come home, they are disappointed if Lukas is not there. For Lukas, seeing one of his siblings is a joyful experience every time. He pulls them onto the couch next to him so they can sing and chat with him.
Lukas has grown into a personality who is allowed to live his full, predetermined life. He has not only become „tolerable“ for his surroundings, but an enrichment.
